Archive for the 'short random notes' Category

Free Time?

August 4, 2011

Here’s the plan….
if i have any free time, i’ll write.
if i’m too tired to write, i’ll read.
if i’m too tired to read, i’ll listen.
and if i’m too tired to listen, i’ll sleep.

hurt people hurt others,

December 16, 2010

but loved people love others.

we are loved.

you are a paradox

December 11, 2010

You are a paradox. The idea of you is galvanizing, yet your presence is paralyzing.
I could write thousands upon thousands of lines of verse to recite in your honor and yet the sight of you robs me of my speech. So I write, unseen, as I do now. Many have died to win Helen of Troy, and yet i die constantly each moment when i realize that i can never win your heart, that ‘we’ will never be. Yet these death i will gladly die. Yea, though you bind my body, still my tongue, and spear my sides – I will still choose to be near you. You are the most beautiful thought to have entered my mind; let it purge all other thoughts. Your name is the sweetest sound upon my tongues; let it halt every other sound. Your presence is the taste of heaven itself, and well worth any past, present or future sufferings I may endure.

You can never love me in this state, for i am less than human. Yet for me to love you any less is unthinkable.

No wonder you despise me.

These aren’t directed at anyone. I swear. Read The Great Divorce for context >.< I must be really tired….

you exist

December 5, 2010

we will never be together… but i am glad to live in a world where a ‘you’ exist. i am glad that we exist in the same universe, that in the causal train of events of history, there was a time and place where we briefly crossed paths. For in that short fleeting moment of the meeting of our minds, there was a beautiful, pure and infinite experience of souls intertwined. We learned that we were not alone.

thank you.

okay really back to studying.

Why do i feel this way?

June 21, 2010

Sometimes I get these intense desires to pull myself away from everything. It is too arduous a task to be in one moment, one place. It would be much more tranquil to transcend it all and be at all places at all times…. That’s why I have these urges to write poems. There is a desire within me to become permanent and eternal…. Greater men than I have fought this inescapable enemy called Death and have channeled their whole beings into great works. But what of these works of art when even the mightiest of stars will perish in a frozen singularity?

Our hearts are restless for we have eternity written on them…. I wonder what motivates the cherubims who have sung new songs since the beginning of time. What songs are sung by those who are in the presence of the Eternal One? What longings, what desires remain for them? Can there be any poignant songs of sorrow be left? What will happen to this residual beauty that is left in our sorrows?

Ah! But we praise the Lamb that was slain!!! For all of eternity! Ours is a God who takes all the pain and suffering and works it for good! All the sad songs were only a foreshadowing of the joyous ones to be sung. This search for beauty is not lost and abandoned but rather fulfilled.

So in the mean time I must continue to write, not because I can attain anything by them, not because I can be eternal through the words, but because I know of the kingdom where all my desires will be fulfilled. In this eager expectation must we continue to write. Come, Lord.

Sorry I’m back

May 17, 2010

I haven’t written in a while. There have been sources of inspiration… Just been lazy about writing… Haven’t read a lot lately either… So many things to think about and take care of….

Time for random thoughts

Character. One reliable measure of character is a person following up on their word. And I find myself falling short in this regard time and again, whether it’s being late or underperforming or getting up late or staying up too late (like now!!) Another measure is being uncertain in giving our word. This is evident in my time with God and with others and how I spend my time. To change I must first be firm in my commitment.

Sin. The problem with this sanctification process is that in regards to my sins I look at them as if i’m just an observer, and not the one committing them. I must own up to my sins and leave room for grace.

Grace. What a fragile grasp on this most wondrous doctrine do I seem to have sometime. My judgemental attitude towards others and their faith only betrays my lack of understanding of God’s grace.

Writing. With any and all type of writing there needs to be research. And fortunately for amatuer writers, all of us are constantly researching all the time. Unfortunately, we either research the wrong things (Starcraft build order) or not analyze what we learn. If we research the wrong things our writing will be repetitive and subject matter unintriguing; if we fail to analyze our writing will lack depth and insight.

Poems. I need to write a poem for tomorrow. (Why? See thoughts on Character) So many undeveloped stories… But I think my forte is in writing sonnets.

Tolerance

August 27, 2009

One prominent characteristic of our American culture is it’s emphasis on tolerance of those who are different from us. But there is a bit of danger here that we may easily fall into – it is that we may start treating tolerance as a virtue, when it is really an absence of one.   Even when we use the word with that positive connotation of accepting and respecting others, it is still, by itself, not enough.  It would be a grave mistake to suppose that tolerance should be spoken of in the same way as courage or charity or honesty.  It would equally be a grave mistake to suppose that tolerance should be spoken of in the same way as cowardice, or deceit.

Here’s why being tolerant is not enough.  One may assume that it would be morally good to be tolerant of those who are different from you in regards to religion or race or gender.  It is not.  It is not even morally neutral – it is closer to being morally evil.  For being merely tolerant is close to being indifferent to their plight, to their existence.  It is same as not fulfilling that Golden Rule, not loving them as you love yourself.  It would only be morally good for you to love those who are different.  You may accept someone’s beliefs and differences in culture, but it’s all for naught if you do not love the person.  If you truly love your neighbor, then you would of course be loving and accepting and respect them.  But if love is not at the bottom of it, you may tolerate others and their beliefs only as the same way you tolerate anteaters – as something you don’t see or have to think about or interact with, as something that for all intents and purposes doesn’t exist.

There’s another way to see that tolerance is not a virtue.  We as a society is severely intolerant (and rightly so) of those who are harmful to the society.  It is in fact ethically necessary to be intolerant of certain behaviors, for they would undermine our society.  You may think that this is rather utilitarian, and that deontologically, tolerance itself is good even in these instances.  But I disagree, for being tolerant of these actions merely shows inaction.  In other virtues that are misguided, they are characterized by willful action, not willful inaction.  For example courage required to save a shipment of illegal drugs, is morally evil though courage is a virtue.  Being tolerant of a mass murderer who is shooting other people is morally evil, because tolerance is not a virtue.

In short, we would do well to remember what tolerance is like: it is like being broad minded.  As Chesterton once said, turnips are singularly broad minded.  Turnips are also singularly tolerant of everything.

“Hi, my name is H.G.”

August 3, 2009

Coloradans: “That’s weird.”

Stanford people: “Oh, like H.G. Wells?”

Berkeley people: “Oh, hi!”

I am not in hell without you…

June 17, 2009

for then I’d be making you my God, and myself an idolater.

oh man…

April 11, 2009

I am two fools, I know,
For loving, and for saying so
In whining poetry ;