Why do i feel this way?

June 21, 2010

Sometimes I get these intense desires to pull myself away from everything. It is too arduous a task to be in one moment, one place. It would be much more tranquil to transcend it all and be at all places at all times…. That’s why I have these urges to write poems. There is a desire within me to become permanent and eternal…. Greater men than I have fought this inescapable enemy called Death and have channeled their whole beings into great works. But what of these works of art when even the mightiest of stars will perish in a frozen singularity?

Our hearts are restless for we have eternity written on them…. I wonder what motivates the cherubims who have sung new songs since the beginning of time. What songs are sung by those who are in the presence of the Eternal One? What longings, what desires remain for them? Can there be any poignant songs of sorrow be left? What will happen to this residual beauty that is left in our sorrows?

Ah! But we praise the Lamb that was slain!!! For all of eternity! Ours is a God who takes all the pain and suffering and works it for good! All the sad songs were only a foreshadowing of the joyous ones to be sung. This search for beauty is not lost and abandoned but rather fulfilled.

So in the mean time I must continue to write, not because I can attain anything by them, not because I can be eternal through the words, but because I know of the kingdom where all my desires will be fulfilled. In this eager expectation must we continue to write. Come, Lord.


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